November 25, 2008

Its been hard....

Pat Parkhouse took this photo. I was behind her making facing to get Hyaicnth's attention, this was the last weekend I was with my Hyacinth.
I haven’t been online much these days, I have been trying to keep busy. Today makes it two weeks since hearing of Hyacinth’s passing and it has been very hard these days.

I heard from someone that Hyacinth was to be cremated last Monday and her ashes sent to me, so far they have not arrived yet. Of course, last Tuesday would have been only one week since Hyacinth’s passing and on that day, I received entry conformations for the last shows I had signed her up for with the professional handler who had Hyacinth in his care; but only half, the other half arrived the next day.

Also last Tuesday, Hyacinth’s B.A.E.R. certificate arrived. I know it doesn’t matter anymore but I updated her health information on my website anyway. Even though she is gone, she still earned that certificate and no one can take that away.

I had such great and long plans for her and my dreams for her are all gone.

I finally e-mailed to say that I wouldn’t continue my ad of Hyacinth next year. My husband had created the ad for me and he did such a lovely job. I had hope to continue the ad next year or get a better spot because I was hoping to campaign her next year. Even on November 25th, she is still on the top ten for Havanese, ranked 7th top Havanese this year so far and she was hardly shown this year, well compared to other dogs that are entered into a dog show every single weekend. I was hoping to get her in the top five next year because those rankings are published in Dogs In Canada magazine.

I e-mailed my vet.

I still haven’t changed my main website to remove Hyacinth from “our family” section, it hurts too much to do that yet. I think I might make a “in memory of” section but later, I couldn’t possibly do this right now.

I still haven’t removed her toothbrush from the pet dish in the bathroom. Her toothbrush was blue one with the purple dinosaur on it, I find kids’ toothbrushes better to use than the ones you find at the pet store. Caillee’s toothbrush is green with the yellow dinosaur on it and Josie’s is pink on pink; they all can’t be pink or I might not be able to tell them apart.

My husband left very early this morning and as his usually practice of taking out the dogs before he leave and putting them all on the bed so I can wake up with a bed full of dogs.... only Caillee and Josie woke up with me. Another reminder that I miss her so.

Secret Lives of Pretty In Pink Dogs

1 comment:

  1. Juanita,

    I think having the cremated remains of your precious Hyacinth back and in your home will be of great help in the grieving process.I know it is hard to understand for some but I have lost some great dogs (3 in one month last year) and I remember feeling so lost and out of place being "minus one" and when I got the call that Geoffrey, Frasier and Beulah were ready to come home, i almost felt relieved. And now that they are home with me, i know it is not the same as actually having my dogs back, but it is good closure.
    I know it is hard. But remember to keep her spirit and her memory with you always.
    I hope you are taking care of yourself and are getting some answers,
    Kindest Regards.